What if you are that woman too?

This website isn’t a self-help guide, and I have no medical training. If you are having trouble with incontinence or depression the good news is however hard it might feel there are absolutely loads of places you can go to get easy help and good advice. LOADS.

For broken bodies especially your private parts

For incontinence the most obvious first port of call is your GP or GP Practice Nurse, they will know exactly what services are available to you. If you find it hard to know what to say to them there are plenty of approaches.

I went for a bald statement, and occasionally choice language, but you are likely far more polite. The key is you don’t need to be embarrassed, but even if you are you can find ways to get the conversation started.

Doctors know not everyone walks around using words like urethra or bladder or bowels or prolapse. And they are very likely to know exactly what you mean if you say you are leaking, wetting yourself, or having accidents, and to know how to ask the right questions to work out exactly what is going wrong and what help you need.

Doctors can also cope if you write down what is wrong and give it to them.

If you want to find more about your symptoms, someone else’s symptoms or incontinence generally, there is a wealth of information available online from helplines with physiotherapists and other experts, to chat rooms and forums which can offer some comfort, solace in speaking to other wet-knicker-warriors and continence patients and survivors, and support in times of trouble.

Here are some I found particularly useful, some use different approaches, some are related to famous brands, I don’t endorse any and am not paid to promote anyone.

https://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/incontinence/Pages/Gettinghelp.aspx – Brilliant clear information from the UK’s National Health Service, including videos on continence and what help is available

http://www.gussetgrippers.co.uk/ – excellent resources from a physiotherapist turned stand-up Elaine, who is saving the world one fanjo at a time starting with this website designed to answer lots of difficult questions people have but are often too afraid to ask

http://www.bladderandboweluk.co.uk/ – An excellent charity with a wealth of straight talking, easy to understand and helpful resources, stories from others with a wealth of conditions, and a free helpline

http://www.tena.co.uk/tenalady/ – advice and resources from pad manufacturers Tena, and the option to buy their products direct if you can’t face the supermarket aisle of shame or if you are unable to leave the house easily and would find delivery helped that.

https://www.alwaysdiscreet.co.uk/en-gb – website and product information from Always about their Discreet ranges including pants and pads. Again information, people’s real experience, videos and information about leaking

https://www.kegel8.co.uk/ Website for electronic pelvic floor exercising devices, but which also contains a wealth of information and an informative blog with a whole host of embarrassing and upsetting issues discussed frankly and clearly. Set up by a remarkable woman who put her own experiences to excellent use helping develop tools for others.

If you have a website or resource which you think would be useful for anyone, especially but not only women, who has incontinence issues do feel free to email me and let me know, so I can check out your site and add your link to this page.

For broken minds, your other private parts, which also deserve care and attention

In addition I write and have written a great deal about the effects on my mind of a traumatic birth and difficult physical condition. Like incontinence it can feel very, very hard to go and ask for help or explain how you are feeling, but there is a great deal that can be done from medication to other therapies, through the NHS and privately.  You GP, midwife or health visitor is an excellent place to start to find out what help you can get and how to start working towards recovery.

During those times I found the following sources very helpful


The Samaritans offer a wealth of services to listen to you if you are feeling really down, or even suicidal They are extremely helpful, kind and experienced and can make a real difference even if you feel that no one could possibly help or understand. You can email jo@samartians.org or ring 116 123 (UK) or 116 123 (ROI). You can also visit your local Samaritans branch (easy to google or find on their site) or write to them at: Freepost RSRB-KKBY-CYJK, PO Box 9090, STIRLING, FK8 2SA

The Samaritans are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. If you need them right now it is best to dial 116 123. The call is FREE. You don’t have to be suicidal to call them.

https://www.nhs.uk/livewell/mentalhealth/  The NHS Living Well site has lots of information about mental health, and how you can access the right services for you. The website is easy to access.

https://www.mind.org.uk/ An excellent charity who were also very helpful and allowed me to contribute to some of their policy work.

If you have a website or resource which you think would be useful for anyone, suffering from depression, pnd, and or any other mental illness do feel free to email me and let me know so I can add your link to this page.