Just been to M&S, and had a quick look at pyjamas. Spider-Boy is growing at an alarming rate of knots and he needs some which fit his ranging arms and legs. I failed, of course. Not because there were no pyjamas but because each set had something which made me feel a bit weird about buying it.
So many of the boy’s pyjamas are either branded with some TV tie-in or plastered with loud, inane slogans about how IT ISN’T EASY BEING THIS POPULAR or SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK or whatever. I mean, seriously, is it impossible to make children’s clothes which don’t create some mocking ironic personality? My son has personality enough – he doesn’t need to be fashioned after some derivative idea of childhood.
I find the teeny tiny baby slogan obsession has the potential for being really aggravating – TIT MAN, I kid you not, and MUMMY’S NEW MAN being my particular bugbears. But in a weird way, the older boy’s clothes I find worse as they are just totally asinine. Why would I spatter weak puns and pointless mantras over my son that say nothing about him, and something slightly unimpressive about me ie I have no imagination or, worse, am prepared to go for the lowest common denominator in an attempt at what, wit?
I’ve spent the afternoon wondering if there is a whole department at each high street store’s head office dedicated to coming up with pseudo sophomoric catchphrases for boy’s t-shirts. A wag I know quipped that maybe they share an office with a brigade desperate to add a splash of pink to anything looking vaguely unisex so it can be marketed at girls. Probably.